A Bomb Was Dropped on Me...

Last week my sister, T, sent me a message on Facebook.

Long story short, she asked me to adopt her son, my nephew.

Long story long, she hasn't had custody of him since he was 9 months old.  He is now over 2.5 years old.  He's been in foster care (thankfully in one home only) since then.  My sister claims that he was taken away because of a hooker.  T lived next to a hooker.  The hooker's johns and pimps would often come knocking on her door.  T finally had had enough and got into an altercation with the hooker.  T called the police.  The hooker threatened revenge.  The hooker, her johns and her pimps all called Children's services and reported T as being a neglectful mother, who often left my infant nephew home alone.  The Children's services believed the hooker!  WOW!  Was I ever misinformed by family members.

I MUST have stupid written on my forehead.

So, this just proves that the fact that T is on methadone (not for drug abuse, she claims, but as a pain reliever for her Crohn's disease), has nothing to do with her parenting skills.  The rumoured fact that my nephew was born drug dependant has nothing to do with her parenting skills.

Yes, the hooker is the problem.

So, there was a trial this week to terminate T's parental rights.  The baby daddy might have won custody or had his rights terminated as well.  T does not know the outcome of the trial and has not bothered to find out.  Not that I would ever lose my children, but if I did, I would certainly be on the phone every second looking for an outcome!

I went through a weekend of hell last week with this moral dilemma.  Do I adopt my nephew to keep him in the family, and risk potential behavioural problems and learning disabilities, thus taking away from my kids; or do I not adopt my nephew, face the moral implications, have my sister never speak to me again (not really a deal breaker), and lose yet another nephew/niece?  I have no idea what the right answer is.  And, what is the point of even looking for one, if I don't even know if my nephew is out for adoption?!

I feel like I'm contemplating whether or not to have an abortion...