Tuesday, May 24, 2011

25 Random Facts About Me!

1.  I love making mashed potatoes.  I can make gourmet, pillowy, creamy, whipped mashed potatoes.  I hate mashed potatoes.  They make me gag.

2.  Dish cloths and towels gross me out.  The can just feel the germs crawling all over them.  I am a paper towel hor, as a result.

3.  I have an unbridled fear of ladybugs.  Even sparkly stickered and cartoon ladybugs give me the heebie jeebies.

4.  I have double-jointed elbows.  They can bend backwards about 30degrees.  Makes it really easy to reach under things and around corners.

5.  I grind and gnash my teeth.  I wear a night guard when I sleep.  I have literally ground a hole in my left vampire-fang tooth.

6.  My eyes are three different colours: grey, blue and green.

7.  I suck at lying.  I cannot keep a secret, I cannot keep a straight face, I do not have a poker face, I can't play a practical joke or plan a surprise party.

8.  When I was a kid, I wanted to own a convenience store, so I could eat candy whenever I wanted.  In 6th grade I wanted to be a photographer.  After that I wanted to be a writer and a starving artist in Paris.

9.  I may have eaten a whole bag of Chewy Chips Ahoy in one sitting whilst pregnant.

10.  I love cookies so much, that I try to not have any in the house.

11.  I'm obsessed with Christian Louboutin shoes.

12.  When it comes to movies, I have the memory of a goldfish.  When I go to watch a movie for the second time, it's like I've never watched it before... complete blank.

13.  I am allergic to yellow.  Yes, the colour.  Specifically I am allergic to Yellow dye no. 5 (aka Tartrazine).  It's pretty much in everything.  I have to read every label on everything that I buy.  It makes my mouth and gums itchy and my tongue and throat swell if I consume something with yellow in it.  I thought I was lactose intolerant for about 15 years until I found out that tartrazine is in skim milk, and cheese is not actually orange... it's dyed that way!  Who knew?!

14.  Speaking of milk... I think it tastes like ass and feet.  I do not like milk.  BLEH!

15.  I just recently learned how to spell sauce.  I always used to spell it S-A-U-S-E.

16.  I have never smoked a single cigarette in my entire life.  I could probably even count on one hand every time I've ever held a cigarette (not lit, of course).

17.  I get panicky if I spend over $30 in on transaction.

18.  Ice tastes funny.

19.  If I ever met Paul Walker I would do dirty, nasty, unmentionable, X-rated things to him.  YUM!

20.  I read US Weekly every week.  Religiously.

21.  I blow bubbles in my sleep.  These tiny little air bubbles pop out of my slightly open mouth.  This has actually woken me up on several occasions.

22.  My big toes crack.  I cannot sneak anywhere.

23.  I prefer to be barefoot.  If snow wasn't so cold, I'd be barefoot year round.

24.  I could eat pizza all day, every day.

25.  This has taken me two weeks to write. Procrastinate, much?

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Real Gem from me...

So, M is looking at a shipping supplies catalogue.  He shows me a picture of a MASSIVE bin!  What comes out of my mouth?  "I don't know why they measure bin size by litres.  It should be measured by body count."  Then we proceeded to expand on this theory... 2 adults, or 5 midgets, or 6 Asian hookers.  We decided that bin size should be specifically calculated by Asian hooker body count.

Yep, I'll be the one who greets you when you go to hell, because you know you chuckled even a little bit at this post.


Saturday, May 14, 2011

Ghost Cat

I swear we have a ghost cat in our house.

Last week when I was taking a nap, I felt the bed shake as if a cat had jumped on the bed.  I say cat, because I used to have a cat, and it felt like that.  Then, I could feel the ghost cat walking up the bed towards my head.  I could feel the blankets sink under the weight of the ghost cat's paws.  About when it got to my shoulder, I woke up.

Then the other day, while I was sleeping at night, I felt a clawed paw touch the middle of my back on my bare skin (I was wearing a tank top).

M says I'm crazy.  I saw we have a ghost cat.



Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I feel like I'm cheating...

on Christian Louboutin.

I am also in love with Neil Lane.  He gives me lady wood just as much as Mr. Loubi.

Seriously... how can you deny this:
Simply stunning.  Diamonds are a girls best friend!  And even more awesome... My birthstone is a DIAMOND!!!