Did I Really Have to Look Up?!

Why can't I just be in a pissy mood?  Just leave me be!

I asked M to do one thing today.  One thing.  I'd washed 3/4 of the dishes and asked M to wash the pans.  Of course this did not happen.  The sink is still full of water, except now it's cold and the bubbles have faded away.

E, M and I are bored and decided to watch a movie.  I made some selections, as always, based on what they'd love to watch and what I'd slightly like to watch.  All choices were shot down and everyone gets pissy at me when I suddenly don't give a rip anymore.

Do I know if Smallville plays today?  Nope.  Don't really give a shit either.  Oh look, it's on!  Is it new? Dunno, does the scene look familiar as you make silly noises to cover up the dialogue.  Can't hear me over your "la la la's"?  Well, shut it and listen to me.  So, it's my problem that I didn't want to look up at the date listed on the synopsis because M doesn't know the date.  He should at least know it's the 20-something, since my birthday was on the 19th and that was several days ago.  But you know, I'm the only one in this house blessed with deductive knowledge.

I always have to follow after M or E to look for whatever they're looking for.  If it's not on the surface, it's lost forever... whatever it may be.

GUH!  I'm so tired of this.

I need a panic room!  Just so I can get away and be alone in the quiet.

Happy Birthday to me!

I was quite miserable yesterday and most of today, because of my impending aging.  I still cannot believe that I'm 32 today.  Thirty-frickin-two!

I spent a great day with my girls and M.  It was low-key.  We just had pizza and are watching some movies.  M and I went on a date on Friday, which is all I really wanted for my birthday.  I'm just not excited this year.

M made me feel so much better when it was time to have cake (chocolate truffle!).  Instead of 32 candles or a 3 and a 2 candle, M put a 2 and a 0 candle on the cake.  Yep. Today is my 20th birthday!  The cake said so!

Where is the off switch?

I'm always on.  I'm never off.

I've always been this way.  I'm certain it is the reason why I am a life-long insomniac.

Sadly, people expect me to be on.  And when I'm off?  The world crumbles around me and everyone is looking at me, with hands in the air, going "What happened here?"

I've come to the stark realization that I cannot even take a quiet shower without having to be on!  I am now expected to check all of the shampoo bottles in the shower to see if there is enough left before everyone begins using mine (we all use different shampoo).

Now where do I escape to for 10 minutes?

This Is How It All Went Down

Wednesday, April 13 - 7 pm-ish:  M smells rain in the air.  I agree and am not surprised when it does indeed start to drizzle a short while later.

Thursday, April 14 - 1:30 am:  Power goes out.  H wakes up because her sound/light machine goes off and she's plunged into darkness.  I go into her room with my little lantern and comfort her.  M gets the battery box and plugs in her sound/light machine and baby monitor.  M informs me that pancake-sized snow flakes are falling. I'm flabbergasted!  I feed H a bottle and she goes back to sleep.

Thursday, April 14 - 2 am: Back in bed.  Lay down for no longer than 16 seconds when I realize that I did not put my dog-in-law inside the house.  My in-laws live down the street, and had asked that I put the dog in sometime in the evening, while they were out of town.

I get dressed, put on my toque, winter jacket and M's boots.  I trudge down the road.  The snow is already up past my ankles.  It's snowing so fast that the snow builds up on my shoulders and head and occasionally sloughs off, although I'm walking.

Dog-in-law is huddled under the low branches of a tree in her front yard.  This is the one time that my in-laws decide to lock up their house and car.  I un-chain the dog and we walk back to my house so that I can get the car key.  Dog and I walk back to her house.  Snow is getting worse.  I'm cold and wet and can barely see out my glasses.  It's friggin' dark, too; my flashlight lights the path in front of me for about 5 feet.

I unlock in-laws' car and push the garage door opener, only to realize in my half-asleep stupor that (DUH!) the power is out and I cannot open the garage door.  Walk back to my house with the dog.

Set up a make-shift dog bed in the kitchen, give her a bowl of water and a bowl of dog treats (the only dog food that we have).

Thursday, April 14 - 2:30 am: Go back to bed.  I'm cold.  Wet. Exhausted.

Thursday, April 14 - 2:30 - 3:30 am: Toss and turn in bed.  Can't sleep, despite exhaustion.

Thursday, April 14 - 3:30 am: Power goes back on.  Dog proceeds to bark.  Don't want her to wake up baby, so I get out of bed, get dressed, and walk her back to her house.  Use car key to gain access through garage door.  Trudge back home.  Snow has lessened.  Lights are on, but I'm more freaked out because I can see the shadows now.  I'm convinced that a bear or a demon is following me as I walk home.

Thursday, April 14 - 4:30 am:  Finally back in bed.  Cannot sleep.

Thursday, April 14 - Afternoon: take a shitty nap.

Note: I completed this adventure with a brain-splitting migraine.

MY DOG-IN-LAW.  

My Knee facking HURTS!

I hate my knee.  The left one is pretty cool, but my right one is a piece of crap.

Sometime during Christmas week, I had to lunge to reach H.  She had just learned to climb, and had gotten onto the love seat and was scaling the back.  She was one step away from going over the ledge (she was lightening quick!) and I lunged.  Mid-lunge, all I could hear was ::snap:: ::crackle:: ::pop::  There went my knee.

I've had knee pain all my life, so it didn't bother me too much.  Over the next few weeks, the swelling in my knee would come and go.  Nothing new.  Sometimes it would pop and crack again, but it wasn't overly unusual for my knee to sound like bubble wrap being joyfully snapped one bubble at a time.

In recent weeks, my knee has started to feel like I was tearing every ligament in my knee (I've done this before) whenever I straightened it out.  This was particularly bothersome whilst sleeping.  The searing, burning flames in my knee was not a very pleasant way to wake up.

Last Friday, I knew it was finally time to call the doctor when I tried to straighten out my leg and my knee cap stayed in place.  It's quite nauseating to have to push my own knee cap back into place.  It was about a million times worse than seeing your nail bent backwards at a 90-degree angle after you've knocked it, and having to push it back.

After I pushed my knee cap back in place, I promised myself that I would call the doctor first thing Monday.  Last weekend was survived by copious amounts of Robaxecet and Advil.

Monday, I went to the doctor.  She thankfully gave me some Tramacet (sp?) for the pain, and scheduled me for a CT scan in a town 2.5 hours away (the joys of small-town life).   So, in 4-6 weeks I'll be in a hospital in the next big town having a massive needle jammed into my knee injecting me with radio-active crap, so that they can see my glow-in-the-dark soft tissue, muscles, ligaments and cartilage.

Something to look forward to???