My Stupid Phone Number

At the beginning of May, M and I switched cell phone providers.  We got to choose our new phone numbers.  We picked numbers that were close to each others.

Ever since then, day and night, without fail, I've gotten a zillion and one phone calls for Kim.  I am not, nor have I ever been Kim.  I swear that she had her cell phone number (my new number) as recently as the day before I picked it!  I've received calls for her from Alberta, down south, locally, from Ontario and even from Vietnam! (I had to Google that one!). She has more friends than me.

Finally, after juggling a thousand things at once and getting yet another phone call for Kim, I broke down and called Telus.  They gave me a new phone number and even "graciously" waived the change fee of $25.00 (I'd have "politely" insisted that they waive the fee anyway).

The next day, I got a phone call for Hazel.

A couple of days later, I got a text for Adam.

Oh the irony!!!

25 Random Facts About Me!

1.  I love making mashed potatoes.  I can make gourmet, pillowy, creamy, whipped mashed potatoes.  I hate mashed potatoes.  They make me gag.

2.  Dish cloths and towels gross me out.  The can just feel the germs crawling all over them.  I am a paper towel hor, as a result.

3.  I have an unbridled fear of ladybugs.  Even sparkly stickered and cartoon ladybugs give me the heebie jeebies.

4.  I have double-jointed elbows.  They can bend backwards about 30degrees.  Makes it really easy to reach under things and around corners.

5.  I grind and gnash my teeth.  I wear a night guard when I sleep.  I have literally ground a hole in my left vampire-fang tooth.

6.  My eyes are three different colours: grey, blue and green.

7.  I suck at lying.  I cannot keep a secret, I cannot keep a straight face, I do not have a poker face, I can't play a practical joke or plan a surprise party.

8.  When I was a kid, I wanted to own a convenience store, so I could eat candy whenever I wanted.  In 6th grade I wanted to be a photographer.  After that I wanted to be a writer and a starving artist in Paris.

9.  I may have eaten a whole bag of Chewy Chips Ahoy in one sitting whilst pregnant.

10.  I love cookies so much, that I try to not have any in the house.

11.  I'm obsessed with Christian Louboutin shoes.

12.  When it comes to movies, I have the memory of a goldfish.  When I go to watch a movie for the second time, it's like I've never watched it before... complete blank.

13.  I am allergic to yellow.  Yes, the colour.  Specifically I am allergic to Yellow dye no. 5 (aka Tartrazine).  It's pretty much in everything.  I have to read every label on everything that I buy.  It makes my mouth and gums itchy and my tongue and throat swell if I consume something with yellow in it.  I thought I was lactose intolerant for about 15 years until I found out that tartrazine is in skim milk, and cheese is not actually orange... it's dyed that way!  Who knew?!

14.  Speaking of milk... I think it tastes like ass and feet.  I do not like milk.  BLEH!

15.  I just recently learned how to spell sauce.  I always used to spell it S-A-U-S-E.

16.  I have never smoked a single cigarette in my entire life.  I could probably even count on one hand every time I've ever held a cigarette (not lit, of course).

17.  I get panicky if I spend over $30 in on transaction.

18.  Ice tastes funny.

19.  If I ever met Paul Walker I would do dirty, nasty, unmentionable, X-rated things to him.  YUM!

20.  I read US Weekly every week.  Religiously.

21.  I blow bubbles in my sleep.  These tiny little air bubbles pop out of my slightly open mouth.  This has actually woken me up on several occasions.

22.  My big toes crack.  I cannot sneak anywhere.

23.  I prefer to be barefoot.  If snow wasn't so cold, I'd be barefoot year round.

24.  I could eat pizza all day, every day.

25.  This has taken me two weeks to write. Procrastinate, much?

A Real Gem from me...

So, M is looking at a shipping supplies catalogue.  He shows me a picture of a MASSIVE bin!  What comes out of my mouth?  "I don't know why they measure bin size by litres.  It should be measured by body count."  Then we proceeded to expand on this theory... 2 adults, or 5 midgets, or 6 Asian hookers.  We decided that bin size should be specifically calculated by Asian hooker body count.

Yep, I'll be the one who greets you when you go to hell, because you know you chuckled even a little bit at this post.

Ghost Cat

I swear we have a ghost cat in our house.

Last week when I was taking a nap, I felt the bed shake as if a cat had jumped on the bed.  I say cat, because I used to have a cat, and it felt like that.  Then, I could feel the ghost cat walking up the bed towards my head.  I could feel the blankets sink under the weight of the ghost cat's paws.  About when it got to my shoulder, I woke up.

Then the other day, while I was sleeping at night, I felt a clawed paw touch the middle of my back on my bare skin (I was wearing a tank top).

M says I'm crazy.  I saw we have a ghost cat.

I feel like I'm cheating...

on Christian Louboutin.

I am also in love with Neil Lane.  He gives me lady wood just as much as Mr. Loubi.

Seriously... how can you deny this:

Simply stunning.  Diamonds are a girls best friend!  And even more awesome... My birthstone is a DIAMOND!!!

Did I Really Have to Look Up?!

Why can't I just be in a pissy mood?  Just leave me be!

I asked M to do one thing today.  One thing.  I'd washed 3/4 of the dishes and asked M to wash the pans.  Of course this did not happen.  The sink is still full of water, except now it's cold and the bubbles have faded away.

E, M and I are bored and decided to watch a movie.  I made some selections, as always, based on what they'd love to watch and what I'd slightly like to watch.  All choices were shot down and everyone gets pissy at me when I suddenly don't give a rip anymore.

Do I know if Smallville plays today?  Nope.  Don't really give a shit either.  Oh look, it's on!  Is it new? Dunno, does the scene look familiar as you make silly noises to cover up the dialogue.  Can't hear me over your "la la la's"?  Well, shut it and listen to me.  So, it's my problem that I didn't want to look up at the date listed on the synopsis because M doesn't know the date.  He should at least know it's the 20-something, since my birthday was on the 19th and that was several days ago.  But you know, I'm the only one in this house blessed with deductive knowledge.

I always have to follow after M or E to look for whatever they're looking for.  If it's not on the surface, it's lost forever... whatever it may be.

GUH!  I'm so tired of this.

I need a panic room!  Just so I can get away and be alone in the quiet.

Happy Birthday to me!

I was quite miserable yesterday and most of today, because of my impending aging.  I still cannot believe that I'm 32 today.  Thirty-frickin-two!

I spent a great day with my girls and M.  It was low-key.  We just had pizza and are watching some movies.  M and I went on a date on Friday, which is all I really wanted for my birthday.  I'm just not excited this year.

M made me feel so much better when it was time to have cake (chocolate truffle!).  Instead of 32 candles or a 3 and a 2 candle, M put a 2 and a 0 candle on the cake.  Yep. Today is my 20th birthday!  The cake said so!