Crappy Poo Year!

I will start off with saying simply that I hate New Years Eve.

I despise New Years to the very core of my being.  I'm the type of person who would gratefully take the shift at work on New Years Day.  I stay up until midnight, but I don't get sloppy drunk or stay out until 5 am.  I'm usually at home with my family watching the ball drop in Times Square on tv.

The last time I was out on New Years was in college.  The first year I went out for New Years, I got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep at our table.  The second time I went out for New Years, I got kicked out of the bar for punching my boyfriend's (now my husband) roommate because he stepped on my foot.

My dislike for New Years really has no rooting or reason for being.  As a kid, my sister and I had fun banging pots and pans on our balcony at midnight, screaming "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"  Nothing terrible ever happened to me on New Years.  I just don't like it.

People make too much of a stink about New Years.  It's used as an excuse to get blazing drunk and act like an idiot.  (I'm proof of that those two years I went out in college).  People use it as an excuse to start anew, to make resolutions, out with the old and in with the new.  I don't see why we need one day a year to tell us to do these things.  Why not decide to lose weight on June 16th, or quit smoking on September 8th, or decided to change your life and the direction you're heading in on March 13th?  Why December 31st/January 1st?

Crappy Poo Year everyone!  Hope you all have a lovely evening and a prosperous new year!  BLEH!

Have you seen this hot sauce?

I must have missed the prohibition notice.  A couple of months ago, Chipotle Tabasco sauce disappeared from the shelves in my town.  Not a single grocery store, gas station, department store, outlet, etc has this hot sauce.

It's my favourite hot sauce.  Steak just doesn't taste the same without it.  Bleh.

This is reason #45,659 why I dislike small town life.  Don't get me wrong, most days I love it, but when you have to drive 4 hours away to the next town to see if they have hot sauce, well, that just borders on redonkulous!

I often order things on-line.  I haven't purchased underwear in this Province in about 4 years.  I either order it on-line, or wait until we take a big shopping trip to the next Province over.

Back to the hot sauce.  Seriously, I do not know why my town suddenly does not carry Chipotle Tabasco.  The Tabasco website assures me that this product does indeed still exist.  My town is just Chipotle-less.  BOOO!

Great... now I want steak... and new underwear.

Happy Festivus!

This is me airing my grievance!

Today, while it was puking down snow, E, H and I were walking through the parking lot at Safeway.  We were walking behind a truck that kept stopping for people.  We ended up catching up to him and passing him.  He wanted to turn left, but we were in his way.  His brakes squeaked one last time.  I looked up to see an exasperated look on his face and his hand fly up in annoyance.

So yeah.  I was supposed to wait for him to pass while we got sticky, wet, cold snow dumped on us.

Instead of giving him a dirty look back, I just smiled and politely waved to him my thanks for being so "patient".

So my grievance is: DUDE!  Lighten up!  You're in a crowded parking lot, in a snow storm, 2 days before Christmas... really... this is expected.

Happy Festivus, kids!

Anyone know a good geneticist?

So, maybe I'm not one and done after all!  M finally admitted that he'd fallen in love with the name Oliver.  Before we knew that H was a girl, I spent several weeks trying to convince M that if we had a boy, his name would be Oliver.  M doesn't like the nickname "Ollie", so the whole name didn't sit well with him.  I like it. :)

I said that since he likes the name Oliver now, we should try for another baby so that we can have our Oliver.  M said that since there is no guarantee we'd have a boy, and since he's 2 for 2 in the girl department, we're done.

So, does anyone know a good geneticist?  I WANT MY OLIVER!!!

I Hate You Pampers... and Hilary Duff!

I just did what every mom loves to do at 4am.  Change crib sheets!  It was super fun to do in the dark while H watched.  Now she's wide the eff awake!  She won't go back to sleep.  I've been struggling to get her back to sleep for the last hour.  I'm out in the living room blogging while I see if she'll sort herself out and go back to sleep, because it's evident that I cannot strong-arm her into it.  12 hours protection, my left nut!

It smells like perfume out here.  I'm so wildly allergic.  I've been popping Advil like it's candy to try and keep the inevitable migraine away.  It's "Wrapped With Love" by Hilary Duff.  One of E's lovely friends (I truly mean it when I say "lovely". This girl is so sweet and kind.) gave her a bottle of it for her 13th birthday, yesterday.  It smells super nice when it's in the bottle.  Not so much when eight 13 year old girls douse themselves in it.

So I want to send a big "FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!" out into the universe to Pampers and Hilary Duff!

okthxbai


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Get Out of My Way!

Back story:  Last November, when I was 7 months pregnant, I went to the walk-in clinic with pain in my upper abdomen just below my right boob.  I had been in the office for about an hour when this woman came in.  She clearly had a headache.  In fact, she was there for a migraine.  Big deal.  I remember that they started to fawn over her, because she could barely sit up, and was on the verge of vomiting.  They wanted to transfer her over to the hospital for IV meds, but she made a fuss, because she had to pick up her son from school.  I can't remember what happened to her after that.  I think that I was finally called into see the doctor.  You know, because a healthy woman with a migraine was more important than a pregnant woman with a sharp pain in her abdomen.  That pissed me off.  (Turned out I had a pressure point and the first of five UTIs).


Ever since that day, I see that chick EVERYWHERE!  I'm sure I'd never seen her before that day.  Trust me, she's a pretty memorable person.  I see her more often than I see my in-laws, who live 5 doors down from me.


This chick is always pushing around the baby carriage with her son in it (who's got to be at least 5 years old).  It's one of those carriages that are sporty and low to the ground, with three wheels.  The kid is never strapped in.  She's always buying cigarettes.  She looks pretty "poor", too, so you know... she needs to spend her last $10 on a pack of ciggies, rather than some fruit or whatever for her kid.  She always looks tired.  She's always yelling at her kid, who is always mis-behaving.

She's a single mom.  I did she her with the baby-daddy once at the grocery store.  It looked like they were doing a hand-off.  Some people are the victim of beer goggles.  This woman must have been wearing beer inter-galactic telescopes.  Dude put the fucking in fugly!  Holy hell.  BLEH!


Anyways, I'm sick of seeing this chick.  Every time I see her, my blood boils a little.  She annoys the shit out of me.  Poor woman is trash.  A drain on society.  It's people like her that piss me off when I pay my taxes, and she's the one who benefits from my hard work and toiling.  That last $10 she used to buy her ciggies, I was the one who worked for it and paid my taxes for the sake of her welfare cheque.  I say this, because she obviously does not work.  I live in a small enough town to know where random people work, and I've not seen her anywhere... unless she's a stripper...  I mean, she could be pretty enough if she got some sleep and put on some mascara, and stopped picking at her face.


I'm pissed that she got more attention than me at the walk-in clinic.  I thought pregnant woman and babies jumped to the head of every line, especially the medical lines.


So, when I see her tomorrow, because you know I will, I will grit my teeth again, and swear to myself silently.


**Note: rainbow barfing girl picture is:  "Barf of Happiness" by neofirefly

Shut the Fuck Up! I Have PMS!

SRSLY.  STFU!

I have MAJOR PMS today.  I am just mean today.  MEAN!  Everyone sucks.  Everyone is annoying.  I have no idea why I got out of bed today.  I was still tired.  Like horribly tired.  And I got out of bed.  I felt completely obligated to get out of bed.  M got up with H this morning and let me sleep in.  I swear, I could have slept until 3pm.  But, by the time 3pm rolled around, I'd already gone grocery shopping, washed the bedding, cleaned the house top to bottom, had lunch and surfed aimlessly on-line.  I was begging to be in bed by about 5pm.  But no... I am still up, I've put the baby to bed (which wasn't very pleasant, considering she wouldn't let me put her down), and all I wanted to do was sleep myself.

UGH!  M has been so good today.  He's just let me be a raging bitch, and just went along with my cleaning frenzy.  When I was being a tyrant, he backed me up rather than challenge me.  Perhaps he feared my wrath today.

I think I'm going to go and curl up into bed under my yummy clean blankets and shut my eyes to the world.  Pretend that today didn't happen.